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Get age-specific parenting strategies for behavior challenges, routines, screen time, and development milestones.
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Feb 23, 2026
Understanding the BehaviorYour 4-year-old's bedtime resistance is completely age-appropriate — this is peak "testing boundaries" territory. At 4, children are developing autonomy and discovering they have power ("I can say NO!"). It's frustrating, but it's actually a sign of healthy development.
The underlying need: Control. Their entire day is adults telling them what to do. Bedtime is when they push back.
Strategy 1: The Choice Illusion (Most Effective)Give power within boundaries:- "Do you want to wear the dinosaur pajamas or the rocket pajamas?"
- "Should we read 2 books or 3 books tonight?"
- "Do you want to brush teeth before or after storytime?"
What to say: "You're in charge of choosing tonight's bedtime routine!"
What NOT to say: "Do you want to go to bed?" (They'll say NO)Replace the highlighted parts with your own information.
[AGE]Child's age
Example: 4 years old
[CHALLENGE]Specific problem
Example: Refuses to go to bed, screams and cries for 30+ minutes every night
[CONTEXT]Relevant background
Example: Started when new baby sister arrived 2 months ago
[STYLE]Your parenting approach
Example: Gentle parenting, want to avoid punishment-based approaches
[TRIED]What you've already tried
Example: Consistent bedtime, reward chart, letting them cry it out (didn't work)
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